Let me just say that i kind of panicked a bit for some unknown reason when i saw the time in the first chapter/prologue,Cause now that I'm playing it's 13:58 and i was playing other games before so all i knew is that it was 13:30 and more, so i thought that it was my time and somehow the game knew it-
Anyways based on the start i like it!
Now i should go back to playing
Alright I'm on ch2 rn and i have to say: I'm really invested in the story, it's surprising it's just so good :O Glad I've found this if
Also as a person from a state that's next to Poland and knows a bit of Polish it was fun to read Alex tell just 2 words in polish one that's a a dish and another that means sausage XD
This is undoubtedly one of the most original and interesting i interactive fiction I have ever played. Very interesting read. Can't wait for future updates.
Thank you so much! You made my day, plus next month, that is August, it's my birthday so let's hope it can be posted close to my birthdate to be received as a gift.<3
This is a very minor nitpick, but I feel like if you said you were majoring in Nursing, you shouldn't take a hit to Mental Health for watching your blood get drawn. If you can't handle seeing your own blood drawn, how would you have any hope of one day drawing someone else's?
I also noticed a fairly major bug with this choice. On the page after choosing to watch or look away, if you go to your profile and then return to the game, it seems to trigger the MH change again. For example, if you were at 100 MH, choose to watch your blood get drawn, and then open your profile, it'll show your MH at 90. However, after returning to the game, if you open the profile again, it'll now show your MH at 80. You can repeat this over and over and drain your MH down to 0. The same thing happens if you choose to look away, but instead it raises MH every time. So far, this is the only MH change that seems to have this bug, and it only happens if you click "return to game." If you open the menu and click "go back," everything works fine.
I'm loving the story so far! And I was only interested in Kennedy's route at first but when MC met Alex, I started liking her too. I ended up reading the story twice lol. It was also pretty heartbreaking to read about MC's family. Looking forward to future updates!
This is a super interesting idea. I love a besties to lovers trope and an ex to lovers trope, so I’m excited about both of those, although I don’t know if I could ever choose anyone over Grayson - although I kinda wonder about him and Kelsey… I definitely enjoyed what’s written so far! It’s a crazy thing to think about, and I’m interested to see how MC adjusts to this new normal, or should I say, abnormal. it’s been interesting to see how they’re currently having moments of “am I even who I think I am”
this is great! i know this is only a demo but so far im loving the writing, plot, and characters 💗!! the writing feels so emotive and the characters reactions to ur character returning the way u do after so long feel incredibly real and well done 💗 keep up the great work and i cant wait for the next chapter to come out!
you have no idea how happy and overjoyed i was when I found out I could have a poly gralex like i fucking squealing, i love it when there's a poly route, because "the more, the merrier"
am absolutely in love with this, can't wait for more updates!
You know what's better than a right kneecap (no offense)? A festival where i spend all my money on useless things i will never use leaving me bankrupt and YOU watch with no payment needed. take it or leave it.
lol you can keep your kneecap bestie; im about halfway through chapter 4 but my progress has been kinda slow with work so i know im not gonna be able to finish it before the end of the year but im definitely aiming to finish in jan!
Yeah! On the this is the end of the demo page, it keeps taking me to a donation page? So I assumed that the other chapters have to be paid for or something.
absolutely incredible, the idea is so interesting and i was kept hooked the entire way through!! the author is literally a literary genius, i loved this so much!! can't wait for more + hopefully a full game! <3 thank you for creating this, definitely one of my top 10 interactive novels!!
I love Grayson and think he's a really lovely character. The athmosphere you've build in that little scene with him was such a nice one. Grayson is a living, breathing comfort zone for the MC.
The awkwardness at the start between them was nicely pictured too.
After reading when the sun rises I was hoping for something more interesting. The premise/concept feels like a Syfy tv show's pilot episode which is interesting, however....
The story/plot is very simple, the characters are nice but that's it. There isn't any thrill, drama or action and the MC is a passive character strung along by the story.
The MC is obviously written for a female MC, from being passive, having sleepovers to working as a waiter. Overall as a guy I'm not the biggest fan. Maybe the genre isn't for me but I was expecting more drama, conflict, thrills and plot. Maybe Mirror Mine was for the gals while When the Sun Rises were for the guys. The writing was solid though, no purple prose so I appreciate that.
Well the pacing seems realistic if you ask me, because you know the mc disappeared for 10 hecking years, and people are responding accordingly don't know what you're expecting while the characters are processing this. With what we're given so far with the end of chapter 3 is when stuff is gonna start to kick off. Also in the nicest of ways I chuckled at the "MC is clearly meant to be female because they worked at their moms cafe at a point in time and is stunned at missing 10 years of existence and require help."
Even the writing and dialogue was clearly written as a Female MC, this kinda reminds me of Wayhaven in COG. Its cool most authors are female and most IF and books are catered for women.
It would be better to just have all the LIs Gender Chooseable as guys don't have sleepovers.
Also I do agree that the writing is "realistic" but the issue is realism doesn't make for good storytelling or writing.
The LIs are all boring and all like the MC, there's barely any drama or conflict so far. Let's be honest Scifi tends to lean towards Drama, it felt boring. Kinda reminds me of the Bumblebee movie, boring.
Wow. That's just so extremely...mean. Didn't know that comments nowdays have the purpose to belittle the story... It's not constructive criticism to say that sth was boring. Seriously.
If you don't like sth how about going somewhere else entirely?
And if one is inclined to comment regardless at least be a decent human being while at it.
There is not a single interactive fiction out there that has been easy to write. Creating something like that is so fucking hard and time- consuming. It's a blessing that authors share their art with us at all.
I really don't think you should feel entitled to put such a disheartening comment under other peoples work...
It can really Hurt and that shouldn't be one's goal.
Awh Boohoo, sorry not everyone's a girl. Not my fault male authors take criticism better especially when they're not wokies who care more about diversity than a good story.
Also most IF are mediocre tbh, it all started with COG being lame and HG being terrible, then HG in 2016 had 2 gems and now its become bigger since.
Also most authors just copy Wayhaven and Fallen Hero or other works, most of them are bad, this one is just lame. Shame its still active while the good ones end at the first chapter lol
While I agree with some of your statements, I think it's essential to consider that the reason the story seems simple so far is because it's a demo. I'm sure that as more updates get released we'll see the story grow to be more dramatic and thrilling.
You mentioned that this story is intended for a female audience simply because the MC worked as a waiter and has sleepovers. What do those two things have anything to do with the MC's gender???
Also, what's the point of you playing IF games when you think the majority of them are mediocre? Making that sexist comment about men taking criticism better than women was also completely unnecessary. I think your original post was pretty solid in terms of criticism, but all your other replies afterward are just rude and lack any tact.
you complain about male authors not caring about diversity so they're more better when you're commenting right now about how this IF isn't diverse enough for you because the MC's supposedly written like a female.. lmao, it's ironic, really
so.. personality traits, hanging out with friends, and having a job is apparently feminine now..? great, i guess? this is so ridiculous, and funny to read as another guy.
if you're still getting this error, you'll need to create a new save file since i had to change a lot of the coding in the old demo when writing chapter 3!
Man, the way you wrote down the subtle breakdowns that each character had when MC went missing and subsequently returned was wonderful. It was cathartic to see them quietly break down and it was only Callie who had such a reaction (I mean like, the poor kid lost their older sibling on their birthday!) and the fact that you could feel not only the confusion but longing in MC's narration hits close. I like the scenes where it feels like MC is almost like a stranger even though they shouldn't be, and I'd love to see more moments where MC is submerged in the ice cold waters of reality and how many precious moments they couldn't have with their own precious people. I mean, if it was me I'd have my mental health at a very low score just from that realization.
I also squealed when I saw the poly option (ngl I thought of our cat before realizing it was a mash up of Alex and Grayson lmao) and now I am fully curious how it'll turn out. I'd still love to be close friends with Kennedy!
Also, with the inclusion of the dad I'm wondering if he had anything to do with MC's sudden disappearance, especially when it was a sci-fi so I'm curious if the dad's work coincided with MC. The mystery itself is thrilling, I'm looking forward to what happens!
I ammm, I'm looking forward how the characteers develop, especially the way the story will develop in the direction of sci-fi since I'm not used to that genre, but I'm looking forward to it!
WHEN I TELL YOU THIS GRIPPED ME. OH MY LORD. Such an interesting concept, and the pacing doesn't feel rush like I almost feared it would. SUPER hyped for future updates!
Also, when I tell you I SQUEALED when Grayson said "Kurwa". I always LOVE seeing my nationality represented. Every little reference had me kicking my legs and stimming, all giddy lol. A fine lad he is , too-
Hey sorry to bother you with this again. I commented before about the MC's car getting impounded, and you said in the next update you would reword things to clarify what exactly happened to their car, but upon reading the updated version, it seems to basically say the exact same thing, i.e. the police found your car abandoned, impounded it and then auctioned it off.
So I'm kinda confused as to what was actually meant to be clarified. Not trying to be rude or say you did a bad job or anything, I just genuinely don't see what information is there that wasn't before.
Again sorry to bring that up again. On a more positive note, I have really liked the story so far (I realize I didn't say that before, sorry about that), and the latest update is definitely a solid continuation.
well grayson doesnt know exactly how it all went down so his explanation is how he sees it. the car was taken in for safe keeping so it wasnt impounded technically but the police didnt know where else to put it. the reason it was auctioned off is because it was confused for evidence which, generally speaking, can only be held for 5 years if there arent any charges which there obviously werent.
I definitely get the series of events at this point. Maybe I'm just dumb and missed it, but I guess I was just expecting a bit more of the full picture in the update.
It still seems a bit contrived that the police managed to accidentally mistake your car for evidence considering all the paperwork related to both cars and evidence, but it is definitely plausible enough to suspend my disbelief for, especially if you put accidentally in quotes.
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this is so good!
I like it a lot! <333
Let me just say that i kind of panicked a bit for some unknown reason when i saw the time in the first chapter/prologue,Cause now that I'm playing it's 13:58 and i was playing other games before so all i knew is that it was 13:30 and more, so i thought that it was my time and somehow the game knew it-
Anyways based on the start i like it!
Now i should go back to playing
Alright I'm on ch2 rn and i have to say: I'm really invested in the story, it's surprising it's just so good :O Glad I've found this if
Also as a person from a state that's next to Poland and knows a bit of Polish it was fun to read Alex tell just 2 words in polish one that's a a dish and another that means sausage XD
This is undoubtedly one of the most original and interesting i interactive fiction I have ever played. Very interesting read. Can't wait for future updates.
Are you still working on this? and if so, will the full game be free?
yes and yes! i have one or two more scenes to write and then the update will be complete and released next month!
Thank you so much! You made my day, plus next month, that is August, it's my birthday so let's hope it can be posted close to my birthdate to be received as a gift.<3
This is a very minor nitpick, but I feel like if you said you were majoring in Nursing, you shouldn't take a hit to Mental Health for watching your blood get drawn. If you can't handle seeing your own blood drawn, how would you have any hope of one day drawing someone else's?
I also noticed a fairly major bug with this choice. On the page after choosing to watch or look away, if you go to your profile and then return to the game, it seems to trigger the MH change again. For example, if you were at 100 MH, choose to watch your blood get drawn, and then open your profile, it'll show your MH at 90. However, after returning to the game, if you open the profile again, it'll now show your MH at 80. You can repeat this over and over and drain your MH down to 0. The same thing happens if you choose to look away, but instead it raises MH every time. So far, this is the only MH change that seems to have this bug, and it only happens if you click "return to game." If you open the menu and click "go back," everything works fine.
that's super weird... im not quite sure what could be causing the stats to change like that but ill do a code dive and see what's up!
I'm having the exact same issues
I'm loving the story so far! And I was only interested in Kennedy's route at first but when MC met Alex, I started liking her too. I ended up reading the story twice lol. It was also pretty heartbreaking to read about MC's family. Looking forward to future updates!
Mirror Mine is still one of my favs and I try to get people to play it all the time- I love this game more than I know how to express.
that's so sweet of you, thank you bestie!!
Hope you continue this author, really love the mystery and start of it. Gives me certain feelings 😍.
mm is my baby so i definitely plan to finish it! thank you bestie <3
Thanks author. It's giving me Manifest tv series vibes a lot.
I'm already in love with both Alex and Grayson, and ready to fight the dad. AKA- I love your game.
thank you bestie!! and don't worry, demetri is ready to be fought lol
OH MY GOD FINALLY AN IF THAT ISNT ABANDONED
This is a super interesting idea. I love a besties to lovers trope and an ex to lovers trope, so I’m excited about both of those, although I don’t know if I could ever choose anyone over Grayson - although I kinda wonder about him and Kelsey… I definitely enjoyed what’s written so far! It’s a crazy thing to think about, and I’m interested to see how MC adjusts to this new normal, or should I say, abnormal. it’s been interesting to see how they’re currently having moments of “am I even who I think I am”
this is great! i know this is only a demo but so far im loving the writing, plot, and characters 💗!! the writing feels so emotive and the characters reactions to ur character returning the way u do after so long feel incredibly real and well done 💗 keep up the great work and i cant wait for the next chapter to come out!
thank you sm bestie, im so glad you like it!!
you have no idea how happy and overjoyed i was when I found out I could have a poly gralex like i fucking squealing, i love it when there's a poly route, because "the more, the merrier"
am absolutely in love with this, can't wait for more updates!
thank you bestie!!<3<3
falling to my knees forehead kissing the ground i love everything about this!!!
cant for more keep up the good work
You know what's better than a right kneecap (no offense)? A festival where i spend all my money on useless things i will never use leaving me bankrupt and YOU watch with no payment needed. take it or leave it.
bestie i do not know what this means but i support you and your ventures
you don't need to know.... all you do need to know is that i love ur game
yay!!
I would give up my right kneecap for another update(but also take your time).
lol you can keep your kneecap bestie; im about halfway through chapter 4 but my progress has been kinda slow with work so i know im not gonna be able to finish it before the end of the year but im definitely aiming to finish in jan!
I really really love this! Just one question- is this not free to play on a browser?
thank you bestie! it should be free on all platforms, is there a specific problem you're facing?
Yeah! On the this is the end of the demo page, it keeps taking me to a donation page? So I assumed that the other chapters have to be paid for or something.
thats super weird but no, everything is free currently and the coming chapters will be too :)
Just steal my heart dang it!
absolutely incredible, the idea is so interesting and i was kept hooked the entire way through!! the author is literally a literary genius, i loved this so much!! can't wait for more + hopefully a full game! <3 thank you for creating this, definitely one of my top 10 interactive novels!!
omg thank you so much!! this is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! <3<3
absolutely no problem!! i enjoyed it thoroughly thank u sm for this!! 💗💗 will there be more chapters on here or being posted on a paid platform??
the full game will be released on here and free to play! <3
thank you so much!! wonderful story again! 💗
Love this game <3 so you can have poly with Alex and Grayson? :o they love each other and my mc and mc loving them both? >.>???<3
why yes, yes you can 😌
Thank you so much you beautiful genius I love those in story :D keep up the awesome work <3!
bro i love the game
thank you bestie <3
Really good game! Can't wait for more :)
I really liked everything so far!
I love Grayson and think he's a really lovely character. The athmosphere you've build in that little scene with him was such a nice one. Grayson is a living, breathing comfort zone for the MC.
The awkwardness at the start between them was nicely pictured too.
I'm eager to read more :)
yay! so happy u like it bestie <3
I lowkey love this and am excited to see where the story goes!!
Well Well Well, it seems like things are looking...even more mysterious than when I started...
Thanks for the lovely game~ I can't wait for more!
ahhhh i wanna see what happens nex
Love it, I am really excited to see more. Officially Grayson is my babygirl
thanks bestie <3
Ooh I can't wait to find out what happened to MC. Really good so far.
thanks bestie!! i cant wait either lol
After reading when the sun rises I was hoping for something more interesting. The premise/concept feels like a Syfy tv show's pilot episode which is interesting, however....
The story/plot is very simple, the characters are nice but that's it. There isn't any thrill, drama or action and the MC is a passive character strung along by the story.
The MC is obviously written for a female MC, from being passive, having sleepovers to working as a waiter. Overall as a guy I'm not the biggest fan. Maybe the genre isn't for me but I was expecting more drama, conflict, thrills and plot. Maybe Mirror Mine was for the gals while When the Sun Rises were for the guys. The writing was solid though, no purple prose so I appreciate that.
Well the pacing seems realistic if you ask me, because you know the mc disappeared for 10 hecking years, and people are responding accordingly don't know what you're expecting while the characters are processing this. With what we're given so far with the end of chapter 3 is when stuff is gonna start to kick off. Also in the nicest of ways I chuckled at the "MC is clearly meant to be female because they worked at their moms cafe at a point in time and is stunned at missing 10 years of existence and require help."
Even the writing and dialogue was clearly written as a Female MC, this kinda reminds me of Wayhaven in COG. Its cool most authors are female and most IF and books are catered for women.
It would be better to just have all the LIs Gender Chooseable as guys don't have sleepovers.
Also I do agree that the writing is "realistic" but the issue is realism doesn't make for good storytelling or writing.
The LIs are all boring and all like the MC, there's barely any drama or conflict so far. Let's be honest Scifi tends to lean towards Drama, it felt boring. Kinda reminds me of the Bumblebee movie, boring.
Wow. That's just so extremely...mean. Didn't know that comments nowdays have the purpose to belittle the story... It's not constructive criticism to say that sth was boring. Seriously.
If you don't like sth how about going somewhere else entirely?
And if one is inclined to comment regardless at least be a decent human being while at it.
There is not a single interactive fiction out there that has been easy to write. Creating something like that is so fucking hard and time- consuming. It's a blessing that authors share their art with us at all.
I really don't think you should feel entitled to put such a disheartening comment under other peoples work...
It can really Hurt and that shouldn't be one's goal.
Awh Boohoo, sorry not everyone's a girl. Not my fault male authors take criticism better especially when they're not wokies who care more about diversity than a good story.
Also most IF are mediocre tbh, it all started with COG being lame and HG being terrible, then HG in 2016 had 2 gems and now its become bigger since.
Also most authors just copy Wayhaven and Fallen Hero or other works, most of them are bad, this one is just lame. Shame its still active while the good ones end at the first chapter lol
While I agree with some of your statements, I think it's essential to consider that the reason the story seems simple so far is because it's a demo. I'm sure that as more updates get released we'll see the story grow to be more dramatic and thrilling.
You mentioned that this story is intended for a female audience simply because the MC worked as a waiter and has sleepovers. What do those two things have anything to do with the MC's gender???
Also, what's the point of you playing IF games when you think the majority of them are mediocre? Making that sexist comment about men taking criticism better than women was also completely unnecessary. I think your original post was pretty solid in terms of criticism, but all your other replies afterward are just rude and lack any tact.
thanks so much for all the unsolicited "criticism", i'll be sure to keep them in mind moving forward.
you complain about male authors not caring about diversity so they're more better when you're commenting right now about how this IF isn't diverse enough for you because the MC's supposedly written like a female.. lmao, it's ironic, really
so.. personality traits, hanging out with friends, and having a job is apparently feminine now..? great, i guess? this is so ridiculous, and funny to read as another guy.
oh this is so good actually im!!! actively engaged!!! /pos
thanks bestie, im so happy u like it <3<3
Oooooh I love it so much !!! I won't ask when is the next update because the last one was some days ago, but I LOVE IT !!!!
thank you!!! <3
i will say i did almost sob at the end because i need more, it's a lovely game so far and I will be waiting for more!
thank u, thats so sweet of u to say!! <3
why alex pronouns become "$a_Their" ?
if you're still getting this error, you'll need to create a new save file since i had to change a lot of the coding in the old demo when writing chapter 3!
I am OBSESSED with this!! You have a gift!
omg thank you, thats so kind of you to say!! <3
THIS IS AMAAAAAZIIIIIIINGGGGGGGG
THANK YOU BESTIE <33333
Man, the way you wrote down the subtle breakdowns that each character had when MC went missing and subsequently returned was wonderful. It was cathartic to see them quietly break down and it was only Callie who had such a reaction (I mean like, the poor kid lost their older sibling on their birthday!) and the fact that you could feel not only the confusion but longing in MC's narration hits close. I like the scenes where it feels like MC is almost like a stranger even though they shouldn't be, and I'd love to see more moments where MC is submerged in the ice cold waters of reality and how many precious moments they couldn't have with their own precious people. I mean, if it was me I'd have my mental health at a very low score just from that realization.
I also squealed when I saw the poly option (ngl I thought of our cat before realizing it was a mash up of Alex and Grayson lmao) and now I am fully curious how it'll turn out. I'd still love to be close friends with Kennedy!
Also, with the inclusion of the dad I'm wondering if he had anything to do with MC's sudden disappearance, especially when it was a sci-fi so I'm curious if the dad's work coincided with MC. The mystery itself is thrilling, I'm looking forward to what happens!
aahhh thank you so much bestie! it makes me so happy you're enjoying everything so far <3
I ammm, I'm looking forward how the characteers develop, especially the way the story will develop in the direction of sci-fi since I'm not used to that genre, but I'm looking forward to it!
WHEN I TELL YOU THIS GRIPPED ME. OH MY LORD. Such an interesting concept, and the pacing doesn't feel rush like I almost feared it would. SUPER hyped for future updates!
Also, when I tell you I SQUEALED when Grayson said "Kurwa". I always LOVE seeing my nationality represented. Every little reference had me kicking my legs and stimming, all giddy lol. A fine lad he is , too-
thank you sm bestie!! im so happy youre enjoying the story and grayson as well <3<3
Hey sorry to bother you with this again. I commented before about the MC's car getting impounded, and you said in the next update you would reword things to clarify what exactly happened to their car, but upon reading the updated version, it seems to basically say the exact same thing, i.e. the police found your car abandoned, impounded it and then auctioned it off.
So I'm kinda confused as to what was actually meant to be clarified. Not trying to be rude or say you did a bad job or anything, I just genuinely don't see what information is there that wasn't before.
Again sorry to bring that up again. On a more positive note, I have really liked the story so far (I realize I didn't say that before, sorry about that), and the latest update is definitely a solid continuation.
well grayson doesnt know exactly how it all went down so his explanation is how he sees it. the car was taken in for safe keeping so it wasnt impounded technically but the police didnt know where else to put it. the reason it was auctioned off is because it was confused for evidence which, generally speaking, can only be held for 5 years if there arent any charges which there obviously werent.
i hope that clears things up finally.
I definitely get the series of events at this point. Maybe I'm just dumb and missed it, but I guess I was just expecting a bit more of the full picture in the update.
It still seems a bit contrived that the police managed to accidentally mistake your car for evidence considering all the paperwork related to both cars and evidence, but it is definitely plausible enough to suspend my disbelief for, especially if you put accidentally in quotes.
This chapter was without a doubt worth the wait. As soon as my exams were completed, I read this yesterday!!
What's my favorite scene? Surely it's apparent, right? Grayson getting (kinda?) jealous 🌝✨
...Due to how satisfying it was, I read that scene numerous times😂.
~Grayson..You have my undivided attention and affection 😮💨🩷
~And don't think I forgot about you, dear author. You're wonderful as always ;D
AAAAAH thank you sm bestie!! im so happy you enjoyed it <3