Man, the way you wrote down the subtle breakdowns that each character had when MC went missing and subsequently returned was wonderful. It was cathartic to see them quietly break down and it was only Callie who had such a reaction (I mean like, the poor kid lost their older sibling on their birthday!) and the fact that you could feel not only the confusion but longing in MC's narration hits close. I like the scenes where it feels like MC is almost like a stranger even though they shouldn't be, and I'd love to see more moments where MC is submerged in the ice cold waters of reality and how many precious moments they couldn't have with their own precious people. I mean, if it was me I'd have my mental health at a very low score just from that realization.
I also squealed when I saw the poly option (ngl I thought of our cat before realizing it was a mash up of Alex and Grayson lmao) and now I am fully curious how it'll turn out. I'd still love to be close friends with Kennedy!
Also, with the inclusion of the dad I'm wondering if he had anything to do with MC's sudden disappearance, especially when it was a sci-fi so I'm curious if the dad's work coincided with MC. The mystery itself is thrilling, I'm looking forward to what happens!
I ammm, I'm looking forward how the characteers develop, especially the way the story will develop in the direction of sci-fi since I'm not used to that genre, but I'm looking forward to it!
WHEN I TELL YOU THIS GRIPPED ME. OH MY LORD. Such an interesting concept, and the pacing doesn't feel rush like I almost feared it would. SUPER hyped for future updates!
Also, when I tell you I SQUEALED when Grayson said "Kurwa". I always LOVE seeing my nationality represented. Every little reference had me kicking my legs and stimming, all giddy lol. A fine lad he is , too-
Hey sorry to bother you with this again. I commented before about the MC's car getting impounded, and you said in the next update you would reword things to clarify what exactly happened to their car, but upon reading the updated version, it seems to basically say the exact same thing, i.e. the police found your car abandoned, impounded it and then auctioned it off.
So I'm kinda confused as to what was actually meant to be clarified. Not trying to be rude or say you did a bad job or anything, I just genuinely don't see what information is there that wasn't before.
Again sorry to bring that up again. On a more positive note, I have really liked the story so far (I realize I didn't say that before, sorry about that), and the latest update is definitely a solid continuation.
well grayson doesnt know exactly how it all went down so his explanation is how he sees it. the car was taken in for safe keeping so it wasnt impounded technically but the police didnt know where else to put it. the reason it was auctioned off is because it was confused for evidence which, generally speaking, can only be held for 5 years if there arent any charges which there obviously werent.
I definitely get the series of events at this point. Maybe I'm just dumb and missed it, but I guess I was just expecting a bit more of the full picture in the update.
It still seems a bit contrived that the police managed to accidentally mistake your car for evidence considering all the paperwork related to both cars and evidence, but it is definitely plausible enough to suspend my disbelief for, especially if you put accidentally in quotes.
Ooh last chapter was good, love how chill Alex is compared to how freaked out everyone else has been to MC returning haha
I'm so curious as to how the rest of the story is going to play out aaah thanks for coming back to work on this, I hope you're not too stressed out and good luck with the rest <3
If Grayson and Alex could just hurry up and kiss me under the moonlight that would be swell. I have also just now come to the realization that the cats name is the poly ship name. Gralex. Thanks I hate it(I secretly love it).
EHEEHE‼️ Chapter 3 has me on the edge of my seat- but then again all the chapters kinda had me on the edge of my seat,,, its a wonder how I havent fallen off already
I realize this is a small detail relatively speaking, but from what I understand the MCs car wouldn't really be evidence and wasn't parked illegally or abandoned, so wouldn't actually meet the requirements to be impounded in most places.
>:(. jk... i just like the drama of the whole thing. so yeah irl the car wouldn't have been impounded but it was technically abandoned and it would've been towed and stored somewhere before being sold or scrapped for parts.
but also it's sci-fi, i'm okay with some things not lining up with reality and i hope you are too! :))
Prefacing this by saying, if you wanna bend things a bit for the sake of the narrative, that's fine, not gonna argue with that, what I'm about to say is just for the sake of clarity.
I'm confused by what you mean by your first paragraph (not the drama part), since you've basically said, you're right it wouldn't have been impounded but it would have been impounded. Private citizens can't just tow and scrap other people's vehicles, even abandoned or illegally parked ones, if the government tows it, that's impoundment, which requires conditions for a vehicle to be considered abandoned and thus eligible for impoundment, which I don't think are met here.
I think there are cases where private companies can impound vehicles, but generally those are either government contractors, who are bound to the same restrictions as governments, or done to repossess vehicles after the owner fails to make payments.
i'm a little confused with what you mean by private citizens and companies😅 the car was taken in by police but i also don't remember how i worded it in game so that's probably where all the confusion and error lie. that being said, i understand the rest of what you're saying and while i'm doing my rewrites/continuing on chapter 3, i'll see if and where i can fix things for it to make more sense.
I was just covering my all the bases by listing all the possibilities. I know it was taken by the police, but since if the police tow your car and sell it, that's impoundment, so the only way for it to not be impoundment would be for it to be done by someone else.
When I read "END OF DEMO" I was devastated, as I got really invested in the mystery. There needs to be more adult novels that allow me to choose my own path. Wonderful idea and well written where the flow and suspense wasn't lost. Looking forward for the rest.
This is such an amazing idea and story ! I actually cried. I can't wait to see what you do with the story in the future. The characters are wonderful, especially our cat, and I love the customization of the mc. Thank you for putting your story out there and sharing it with us <3
Hiiii!!! Im starting the chapter 2 (I love it with all my heart) and when you can talk with your mum, sibling and Gary, if you talk first with mum and then Gray I found a bug? glitch? idk xD (have a great day!)
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I am OBSESSED with this!! You have a gift!
omg thank you, thats so kind of you to say!! <3
THIS IS AMAAAAAZIIIIIIINGGGGGGGG
THANK YOU BESTIE <33333
Man, the way you wrote down the subtle breakdowns that each character had when MC went missing and subsequently returned was wonderful. It was cathartic to see them quietly break down and it was only Callie who had such a reaction (I mean like, the poor kid lost their older sibling on their birthday!) and the fact that you could feel not only the confusion but longing in MC's narration hits close. I like the scenes where it feels like MC is almost like a stranger even though they shouldn't be, and I'd love to see more moments where MC is submerged in the ice cold waters of reality and how many precious moments they couldn't have with their own precious people. I mean, if it was me I'd have my mental health at a very low score just from that realization.
I also squealed when I saw the poly option (ngl I thought of our cat before realizing it was a mash up of Alex and Grayson lmao) and now I am fully curious how it'll turn out. I'd still love to be close friends with Kennedy!
Also, with the inclusion of the dad I'm wondering if he had anything to do with MC's sudden disappearance, especially when it was a sci-fi so I'm curious if the dad's work coincided with MC. The mystery itself is thrilling, I'm looking forward to what happens!
aahhh thank you so much bestie! it makes me so happy you're enjoying everything so far <3
I ammm, I'm looking forward how the characteers develop, especially the way the story will develop in the direction of sci-fi since I'm not used to that genre, but I'm looking forward to it!
WHEN I TELL YOU THIS GRIPPED ME. OH MY LORD. Such an interesting concept, and the pacing doesn't feel rush like I almost feared it would. SUPER hyped for future updates!
Also, when I tell you I SQUEALED when Grayson said "Kurwa". I always LOVE seeing my nationality represented. Every little reference had me kicking my legs and stimming, all giddy lol. A fine lad he is , too-
thank you sm bestie!! im so happy youre enjoying the story and grayson as well <3<3
Hey sorry to bother you with this again. I commented before about the MC's car getting impounded, and you said in the next update you would reword things to clarify what exactly happened to their car, but upon reading the updated version, it seems to basically say the exact same thing, i.e. the police found your car abandoned, impounded it and then auctioned it off.
So I'm kinda confused as to what was actually meant to be clarified. Not trying to be rude or say you did a bad job or anything, I just genuinely don't see what information is there that wasn't before.
Again sorry to bring that up again. On a more positive note, I have really liked the story so far (I realize I didn't say that before, sorry about that), and the latest update is definitely a solid continuation.
well grayson doesnt know exactly how it all went down so his explanation is how he sees it. the car was taken in for safe keeping so it wasnt impounded technically but the police didnt know where else to put it. the reason it was auctioned off is because it was confused for evidence which, generally speaking, can only be held for 5 years if there arent any charges which there obviously werent.
i hope that clears things up finally.
I definitely get the series of events at this point. Maybe I'm just dumb and missed it, but I guess I was just expecting a bit more of the full picture in the update.
It still seems a bit contrived that the police managed to accidentally mistake your car for evidence considering all the paperwork related to both cars and evidence, but it is definitely plausible enough to suspend my disbelief for, especially if you put accidentally in quotes.
This chapter was without a doubt worth the wait. As soon as my exams were completed, I read this yesterday!!
What's my favorite scene? Surely it's apparent, right? Grayson getting (kinda?) jealous 🌝✨
...Due to how satisfying it was, I read that scene numerous times😂.
~Grayson..You have my undivided attention and affection 😮💨🩷
~And don't think I forgot about you, dear author. You're wonderful as always ;D
AAAAAH thank you sm bestie!! im so happy you enjoyed it <3
Ooh last chapter was good, love how chill Alex is compared to how freaked out everyone else has been to MC returning haha
I'm so curious as to how the rest of the story is going to play out aaah thanks for coming back to work on this, I hope you're not too stressed out and good luck with the rest <3
thank you sm bestie, i really appreciate it!! <3<3
I shoved my books away when I saw this. This has consumed me.
ZICO <3<3<3
I love love love this! So different and kind of spooky!
SPoILER >>>>> SPoILER >>>>> sPoILER
I'm getting bad vibes from "daddy" lol. Ahh! And I'm so torn between Grayson and Alex. Can MC have both? :eyes:
thanks bestie!! and yes of course you can have both, theres a poly option for them :p
Ahh! Amazing!! Looking forward to the next chappie :)
So glad to see this getting updated again! Chap. 3 was worth the wait 😊
thank you sm bestie, that really means a lot to me!!
If Grayson and Alex could just hurry up and kiss me under the moonlight that would be swell. I have also just now come to the realization that the cats name is the poly ship name. Gralex. Thanks I hate it(I secretly love it).
lol you can blame everyone who voted for that to be her name. thanks for reading bestie!
i need to marry grayson
maybe you could do that... if youre lucky👀
EHEEHE‼️ Chapter 3 has me on the edge of my seat- but then again all the chapters kinda had me on the edge of my seat,,, its a wonder how I havent fallen off already
thank you sm bestie!!<3<3
I realize this is a small detail relatively speaking, but from what I understand the MCs car wouldn't really be evidence and wasn't parked illegally or abandoned, so wouldn't actually meet the requirements to be impounded in most places.
>:(. jk... i just like the drama of the whole thing. so yeah irl the car wouldn't have been impounded but it was technically abandoned and it would've been towed and stored somewhere before being sold or scrapped for parts.
but also it's sci-fi, i'm okay with some things not lining up with reality and i hope you are too! :))
Prefacing this by saying, if you wanna bend things a bit for the sake of the narrative, that's fine, not gonna argue with that, what I'm about to say is just for the sake of clarity.
I'm confused by what you mean by your first paragraph (not the drama part), since you've basically said, you're right it wouldn't have been impounded but it would have been impounded. Private citizens can't just tow and scrap other people's vehicles, even abandoned or illegally parked ones, if the government tows it, that's impoundment, which requires conditions for a vehicle to be considered abandoned and thus eligible for impoundment, which I don't think are met here.
I think there are cases where private companies can impound vehicles, but generally those are either government contractors, who are bound to the same restrictions as governments, or done to repossess vehicles after the owner fails to make payments.
i'm a little confused with what you mean by private citizens and companies😅 the car was taken in by police but i also don't remember how i worded it in game so that's probably where all the confusion and error lie. that being said, i understand the rest of what you're saying and while i'm doing my rewrites/continuing on chapter 3, i'll see if and where i can fix things for it to make more sense.
I was just covering my all the bases by listing all the possibilities. I know it was taken by the police, but since if the police tow your car and sell it, that's impoundment, so the only way for it to not be impoundment would be for it to be done by someone else.
Does Grayson get his name from the DC Comics character?
no but it's been pointed out to me that they do kinda look alike lol
I'm sorry but when you have a RO like Grayson.. You don't need anyone else 😭❤️ except him..ofc
you're absolutely right 🤭😌
damn cliffhanger are disappointing to me I was into the story since 4AM 😿
but I loved the story by the way keep up the amazing scifi world work 😊😸
when is the next update :)?
i've been taking a break from writing for the past few months so the update unfortunately won't be out for a while. i'm sorry!
I love Grayson
a totally normal amount. The fact that he was that dedicated to finding mc just gets me.I fucking love Grayson. This is absolutely amazing. The writing just sucks you in. I love it!!!
Aaaand Im in love
THIS IS VERRRYY GOOD. GRAYSON HAVE MY ENTIRE HEART, OMG AUTHOR!
lots of potentia with this one <3
Moreeee, give me more of this masterpiece ;-;
glad I stumbled on this!
Oh, just saw it’s on hiatus…
Good luck alli ✨
ahhh it's such a good story ;-;
waiting for the next update with tears...
omggg i am SO invested. eagerly awaiting updates!!!
Very interesting premise, really enjoying it so far. Well written too! I'm looking forward to any updates :]
I'm so hooked to the story omg I love it!
When I read "END OF DEMO" I was devastated, as I got really invested in the mystery. There needs to be more adult novels that allow me to choose my own path. Wonderful idea and well written where the flow and suspense wasn't lost. Looking forward for the rest.
This is such an amazing idea and story ! I actually cried. I can't wait to see what you do with the story in the future. The characters are wonderful, especially our cat, and I love the customization of the mc. Thank you for putting your story out there and sharing it with us <3
thank you for taking the time to read it! <3
no THANK YOU for creating this!🖤
I love it :) <3
thank you!
well, not much to say beside amazing, amazing, and effing amazing. Seriously hooked, great idea and lovable characters, please write more.Please.
hooray! another great twine tale to keep up with. godspeed.
I LOVE GRAYSON SO MUCH QNQ IM SO EXCITED FOR WHEN MORE CHAPTERS COME OUT AHHH!! <333
Hiiii!!! Im starting the chapter 2 (I love it with all my heart) and when you can talk with your mum, sibling and Gary, if you talk first with mum and then Gray I found a bug? glitch? idk xD (have a great day!)
PS: In the option with the mum, "I wish how to make things better" there is not link to the next page
thank you! both of these should be fixed now <3